When it comes to working with brides, there are hidden pitfalls that can sneak into our appointments, often without us even realizing it! These pitfalls can derail a perfectly good appointment, even when we as stylists have the best of intentions. What’s tricky about these pitfalls is that they’re usually things that many stylists actually believe are essential to success, when in reality, these practices can be the very things standing in your way.
One of the biggest pitfalls we see – having the bride rate dresses on a scale of one to ten. Let’s dive into why this seemingly innocent tactic could be doing more harm than good—and explore what you can do instead!
When we ask a bride to rate a dress, the idea is simple: we’re trying to gauge her feelings in a way that feels logical and organized. We might think this will help her rank dresses, eliminate options, or make the decision process clearer. It also provides us, as stylists, with a sense of security—if a bride rates a dress as a “10,” it feels like confirmation that she’s happy. But the problem with this approach is that it turns a deeply emotional decision into a cold, calculated one!
As bridal stylists, we need to remember that choosing a wedding dress isn’t a product purchase; it’s a life moment. When we unwittingly treat it as a product decision, we keep the bride in her head instead of her heart. This shift can make her feel stuck, confused, or unsure. Instead of feeling that emotional “yes,” she may find herself second-guessing her choice, doubting her feelings, or even feeling detached from the process altogether.
The Problem with Rating Dresses
The rating system keeps the bride in a headspace that’s far removed from the emotional journey of finding her dream dress. If she’s asked to rate a dress from one to ten, she’s immediately pulled into a logical, number-crunching mode. This mindset can prevent her from fully feeling the impact of each dress.
Here’s the reality: even the most stoic, logical brides make their decisions emotionally, especially when it comes to their wedding dress. So, when we ask her to rate the dress, we’re inadvertently forcing her into a detached, analytical mindset, and that’s not where we want her to be.
A Better Way: Connecting the Dress to the Bride
Instead of asking the bride to rate her feelings on a scale, keep the focus on the emotional connection. Help her to express what she loves about each dress. Keep it simple: “Do you love this dress more than the last one?” or “How does this dress make you feel?” Let her explore her feelings without the pressure of quantifying them.
Celebrate her decisions, no matter how small they seem. Encourage her to keep her top favorite and eliminate the rest based on how each dress makes her feel compared to the one she loves most. Support her choices with observations and affirm her feelings with high-fives, fist bumps, or whatever feels right in the moment. The goal is to keep her heart engaged, empowering her to make confident decisions based on how she feels, not how she ranks the dress.
Keep It Real, Keep It Emotional
When a bride tries on a dress, you’re not just helping her pick a product; you’re guiding her through a moment that’s tied to her identity, her dreams, and her sense of self. Connect the dress to who she is and how it expresses what’s inside her. Don’t separate the dress from the bride—help her see how it brings out her personality, her beauty, and her joy.
Resist the urge to turn the dress into a set of numbers. Speak to what you see and feel when you look at her in the dress. Use language that connects with her emotions and validates her unique journey. Even when a bride doesn’t visibly express her feelings, trust that she’s experiencing them. Meet her where she is, celebrate how she communicates, and champion her process.
Final Thoughts: Keep the Connection Alive
In the end, the most powerful tool you have as a stylist is your ability to connect with the bride on a deeply emotional level. Every bride communicates differently, and it’s your job to tune into her unique way of processing her feelings. Whether she’s outwardly expressive or more reserved, your role is to celebrate her decision-making process, keep her engaged in her emotions, and guide her towards the dress that truly feels like “her.”
So, ditch the numbers and focus on the connection. Be her advocate, her guide, and her emotional coach. In doing so, you’ll create an experience that’s not just about finding a dress, but about empowering her to feel seen, understood, and celebrated on her journey to saying yes!